When it comes to twin flames—what they are, what they mean, and why we have them—the information out there can be confusing. Personally, I don't like the concept of "twin flames" because I think it can easily be mistaken for "true love." I've seen many people glorify the idea of twin flame relationships to the point where they normalize or justify toxic behavior—which is why I often avoid the topic.
However, it may be for that reason (and the fact that I get so many questions about it) that this article is necessary to publish. I wanted to set the record straight about what a twin flame is and what a twin flame isn't—and why twin flame relationships aren't always the best for us.
But first, let's go over a couple definitions...
What Is a Soul?
Every person has a soul. You have a soul, I have a soul, your neighbor across the street has a soul.
What Is a Soul Group?
Additionally, each of us also has a "soul group." This soul group follows you from life to life, changing their role in your life based on the equilibrium of the Universe. By that I mean: If someone betrays you in this life, they may end up as your best friend in the next. Another example might be: If someone is a lover in this life, they may become your sibling in the next.
Your soul group may not change, but the way that you interact with them, as well as your role in that group, changes from lifetime to lifetime.
What Is a Soulmate?
If you thought you only had one soulmate, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Every soul in your soul group is considered a "soulmate." I'm of the belief that we have many soulmates (romantic and platonic)—and they all come in different forms! They could appear as your best friend, your mother, your dog, that grocery clerk from Safeway, and every ex you've ever had. They are all soulmates.
Each soul in your soul group is put there, purposefully, to teach you the lessons you need in this lifetime. They are all meant to evolve you in some way.
Soulmate vs. Twin Flame
Here's the kicker though: While you have many soulmates, you only have one twin flame.
A twine flame is literally the other half of our soul. They say that upon creation, our soul was split in two. So, somewhere out in the world (either in the physical or spiritual plane), there's a soul with an identical blueprint to your own—made to definitively and irrevocably complete us.
You can imagine just how much stronger a twin flame relationship can be—seeing as this soul was, at one point, infused with your own. While that can manifest into a passionate partnership, it's also what makes this connection all the more intense... and potentially toxic.
Twin Flame Relationship
When you meet your twin flame, it's electric. Really, it is. And that's because you're literally meeting your other half. Since you're made of the same soul ('cut from the same cloth'), you automatically recognize what's in front of you.
On that note—and here's where things get tricky—twin flames act as "mirrors" to our own souls. So, fortunately or unfortunately for us, meeting a twin flame is like looking directly in the mirror. We see all the things we love about ourselves... as well as all the things we cringe at, hide from, and despise.
When we meet our twin flame then, we're launching ourselves into a pressure cooker full of our wildest dreams and greatest fears. These partnerships force us to come face-to-face with our biggest insecurities. That's why one partner will flee the scene if they're not ready to evolve. It's also why toxic relationships can blossom from this connection; if a partner is unwilling to evolve, they'll self-sabotage and run farther away from the twin flame that asks them to face their issues.
Of course, twin flame relationships can happen. But in my opinion, I don't think they are meant to be our lifelong partners. They grace our lives with the opportunity to grow and to experience elevated, karmic connection. But their intensity and volatility aren't suitable for a lifelong, stable partnership.
How to Tell the Difference Between a Twin Flame and a Soulmate
The real problem with twin flame and soulmate connections is that they can be really hard to differentiate. After reading this, you might be wondering how the heck to tell the difference! Well, when it comes to twin flame signs, it's really rooted in that intensity. It's a gut feeling as opposed to a love feeling. In this relationship, you'll feel less "in love," and more "connected."
Soulmates vs. Twin Flames Tarot Spread
Your special connection
Lessons they're teaching you in this life
Is this person a soulmate or twin flame?